Staying with a Japanese Host Family: What to Expect

Many language students in Japan choose a homestay for the first weeks or months, because it puts them inside a Japanese home with daily practice and a fixed place to come back to. It can also be a shock if nobody has explained the unwritten rules. This guide is for students from Portugal who are about to live with a host family: what a homestay is, what to do on the first day, the house rules, meals, the bath, laundry, privacy, communication, commuting, money and what to do if things go wrong. It is a general guide, because every family and every school arrangement is different, so always follow what your own school and family tell you.

What a homestay is in Japan

A homestay means that you rent a room in a family's home for the length of your course. It is usually arranged through your language school or an agency, which finds a family, sends you their details before you arrive and acts as the link if something needs to be sorted out. Host families are paid for hosting, so you are not a guest in the ordinary sense, but you are also not a lodger in a flat, because you share the family's home and daily rhythm.

• Hosts can be older couples, families with children or people living alone, so do not expect a particular kind of household.
• Many homes are in the suburbs, away from the school, because that is where family houses are.
• Long commutes are possible, so ask the school about the trip before you accept a family.
• Rooms are often small and may be Japanese style, with a futon on a tatami floor, or Western style, with a bed.
• What is included, such as meals, the bath and Wi-Fi, depends on the arrangement, so read the terms from the school or agency.

If you are still deciding whether to study in Japan at all, our post on whether beginners can attend a Japanese language school in Japan explains how schools work for new learners.

The first day

Arrive on time, or tell the family if your flight or train is late. Greet them at the genkan, the entrance hall where shoes come off, and introduce yourself with a small bow and a smile. Say your name and then はじめまして (hajimemashite), which means nice to meet you, and お世話になります (osewa ni narimasu), a set phrase that roughly means I will be in your care and I thank you in advance, followed by よろしくお願いします (yoroshiku onegaishimasu), the standard closing of any introduction.

Bring a small gift for the family and hand it over with both hands in the first minutes. Pastéis de nata do not travel well and go off, so choose something that is packaged, light and keeps for weeks.

• Packaged Portuguese sweets, such as boxed almond cakes, egg sweets or chocolates that will not melt in your luggage.
• Tinned fish in pretty tins, which are easy to pack, look attractive and can be shared at a meal. Ask about fish allergies first, as you would for any food gift.
• A small cork item, such as a coaster, a purse or a pencil case, which is light, unusual and does not break.
• Portuguese biscuits in a sealed box or tin.
• A postcard or a small photo book of your town, if you want something personal.

For more gift ideas and what to avoid, see our guide to what to buy in Japan: souvenirs and gifts. The family does not expect anything expensive; the thought counts, and omiyage, gifts brought from where you travelled or live, are a familiar idea in Japan.

House rules

Every house has its own rules, and the family will usually tell you in the first days. Ask early rather than guess, and do not take it as criticism if they correct you.

• Take your shoes off at the genkan and put on the house slippers. Line your shoes up neatly, with the toes facing the door.
• Do not wear house slippers on tatami. Take them off before you step on a straw mat floor.
• Many homes keep a separate pair of slippers in the toilet. Change into them when you go in and out again when you leave.
• Ask about a curfew, called 門限 (mongen). Some families expect you home by a set time in the evening.
• If you will eat out or come home late, tell the family before you leave, because dinner may already be planned.
• Guests are usually not allowed, and that includes friends from school. Ask first if you want to invite anyone.
• Smoking is normally not allowed in the house. Ask where, if anywhere, it is accepted.
• Keep quiet in the evening and early morning. Walls can be thin, so watch phone calls, music and video calls.
• Switch off lights, heaters and air conditioning when you leave a room, and ask how the heating works before you use it.

Bathroom habits can also surprise newcomers, so read our guide to Japanese toilets and how to use them before you arrive.

Meals

Breakfast and dinner are included in many homestay arrangements, but lunch usually is not. You can buy a lunch near school or ask the family whether they are willing to make you a packed lunch, which is a separate arrangement and often costs extra. A Japanese breakfast may be rice, miso soup, grilled fish, egg, pickles and tea, or it may be toast and coffee. Dinner is often the main shared meal.

• Before you eat, say いただきます (itadakimasu). When you finish, say ごちそうさまでした (gochisōsama deshita).
• Tell the family about allergies, religious or ethical food rules and strong dislikes as early as possible, ideally before you arrive. A written note from the school or in simple Japanese helps.
• If you do not like something, say so politely, early and without fuss, for example that it is difficult for you. Do not leave it hidden at the side of the plate day after day.
• Try new foods at least once. Eat what you can, and say that it was delicious if it was.
• Offer to help set and clear the table and to wash up. Even if they refuse, the offer is noticed.
• Tell the family if you will not be home for a meal, and do it before they start to cook.
• Ask before you take food from the fridge or use the kitchen.

For table manners in general, read our guide to Japanese restaurant etiquette for tourists, which also covers chopsticks and common mistakes.

Bathing

Japanese families often take a bath in the evening, and the family may ask you when you would like to use it. The family may also have a bath order, with the head of the house first. Follow what they suggest, and ask politely if you are unsure.

• Wash and rinse yourself completely outside the tub, at the shower, before you get in. The tub is for soaking, not for washing.
• Do not let soap, shampoo or dirt into the water, because the same water may be used by the next person.
• Do not drain the bath when you finish. Put the lid back on to keep the water warm, unless the family tells you otherwise.
• Keep your bath reasonably short and wipe up water on the floor, so you leave the room as you found it.
• Ask when the hot water is available and whether there are limits on how long the shower can run.
• If you prefer a shower in the morning, ask whether this suits the family.

Our guide to how to use a Japanese bath at an onsen, sento or hotel explains the washing routine step by step.

Laundry

Laundry works differently in each home. Some hosts wash your clothes with the family's, while others show you the machine and let you do your own. Do not assume, ask on the first or second day how it works, which days are suitable and what detergent to use. Clothes are often hung to dry outside or on a rack indoors rather than in a dryer, so allow a day or two. Ask before you hang underwear where neighbours can see it, because families often have a preferred place.

If your homestay does not include laundry, our post on laundry in Japan, from coin laundries to hotel washing machines shows what to do.

Privacy

• Your room is yours, but in a Japanese-style room the door may be a sliding paper screen, which gives little sound privacy. Be careful with video calls and music.
• Walls and floors may be thin, so avoid late-night noise.
• Family members may knock or call out before they come in. Ask what they prefer for your own door.
• Ask before you use the kitchen, the washing machine or other shared spaces, and before you move furniture.
• Respect the family's schedule. Know when people leave for work or school and when they sleep, and avoid the bathroom at busy times.
• Keep your room tidy. Fold up your futon in the morning if that is what the family does.

Communication

• Speak Japanese even if you are not good at it. Use simple, short sentences, and say them slowly.
• The family is not a teacher. They are glad to help, but they are not paid to correct your grammar, so thank them and do not turn every meal into a lesson.
• Many families use LINE, the messaging app, to stay in touch. It is common for a host to message you about dinner or a change of plans.
• A yes can mean I heard you, not I agree. Listen for what is said and what is not said.
• Japanese people often speak indirectly. If someone says it is a bit difficult, it may well mean no.
• Ask for things politely, with sumimasen and onegaishimasu, and with a question rather than a demand. For example, ask whether you may use the bath, and do not announce that you are going to.
• If you do not understand, say so with もう一度お願いします (mō ichido onegaishimasu). A translation app is fine for a difficult point.
• Tell the family your plans for the week, such as trips and lessons, so that they are not left guessing.

For short phrases to practice, see our list of essential Japanese phrases for travelling in Japan.

Commuting

Your school may give you a route and a commuter pass, or ask you to buy one. A pass for the train or bus on your regular route is often cheaper than paying each time. Rush hour is crowded, so leave extra time in your first week, and carry a small umbrella. Tell the family when you leave and when you expect to be back, and let them know if you will be late. Learn the words いってきます (ittekimasu) when you leave and ただいま (tadaima) when you return, and listen for the answers, いってらっしゃい (itterasshai) and おかえりなさい (okaerinasai).

For how to pay for trains and buses, read about IC transport cards in Japan: Suica, PASMO and ICOCA.

Money

• Check what the fee includes, such as the room, breakfast, dinner, laundry, the bath and Wi-Fi, and what does not.
• Pay for your own extras, such as snacks, lunches, toiletries and anything you buy for yourself.
• If you want something special, such as an extra meal, ask what it costs, and do not just take it.
• Never leave cash on the table as a tip. Tipping is not usual in Japan, and money can come across as rude.
• At the end of your stay, give a thank-you gift and a short note, and offer to keep in touch. Something from Portugal or a nice box of sweets is enough.

Cultural points to remember

• Sort the rubbish as the family shows you. Rules for burnable, plastic, cans, bottles and paper can be strict, and collection days are fixed.
• Use the right slippers in the right place: house slippers in the home, toilet slippers in the toilet, and none on tatami.
• Do not blow your nose loudly at the table. Turn away, or leave the table for a moment.
• Wear shoes you can take off easily, and socks without holes, because you will often take your shoes off.
• Be on time for meals and appointments. If you will be late, send a message.
• Say thank you often, and be especially careful to thank people for small things.

When things go wrong

A homestay is a close arrangement, and sometimes it does not suit. If you have a problem with food, the commute, noise, the rules or the family, first try to talk to the family in a calm and polite way. If that does not help, speak to your school's coordinator. They deal with this regularly. Changing families is often possible, so ask the school about it. Be honest and specific, and do not wait until you are miserable.

Packing list for a homestay

• Your own slippers, in case the family does not provide them.
• A small gift for the family, and one or two spares for neighbours or relatives.
• Photos of your family, your home town and Portugal, which are an excellent way to start a conversation.
• A Portuguese-Japanese phrase list or a phrasebook, and a translation app that works offline.
• Earplugs, for thin walls and early starts.
• Socks without holes, a towel and a small umbrella.
• Any medicines you need, in small amounts, with a note of what they are. Check the Japanese rules first, because some common medicines are restricted.

Japanese words for a homestay

Official information

We checked the Study in Japan page on accommodation for international students on 21 October 2026. It describes student dormitories and private apartments or houses, and lists their advantages and drawbacks, such as curfews in dormitories. It does not mention homestays or host families, so we cannot cite it for anything about them, and we found no other official page to cite. Ask your school or agency for the written terms of your homestay.